What is a Narcissist? Traits, Behaviors, and Red Flags

Narcissism has become a popular buzzword on social media, perhaps to describe an ex, former boss, or unpopular politician. Narcissists are often thought of as someone who has an inflated sense of self-importance, a need for admiration, and lacks empathy. While these traits are common among narcissists, narcissism is a complex personality disorder that exists on a spectrum and is not always easy to recognize. 

Understanding what a narcissist is can reduce stigma and encourage those with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) to seek treatment. 

What is NPD? 

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a mental health condition characterized by patterns of exaggerated self-importance, a strong need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. People with NPD often believe they are superior to others. Narcissism affects relationships, work, and daily functioning and can increase the risk of depression and anxiety. 

There are several types of narcissism, each presenting with its own subset of symptoms. Some of the most common include [1]: 

• Grandiose (Overt): Arrogance, entitlement, need for admiration, lack of empathy. These individuals often appear confident but suffer from severely low self-esteem. 

• Vulnerable (Covert): Feelings of shame, insecurity, and hypersensitivity to criticism. They may appear more shy or reserved, but struggle with feelings of resentment. 

• High-Functioning: Use traits to achieve success, may appear competitive or charming. They often have fewer psychological issues than other types. 

• Malignant: Traits of sociopathy and narcissism. Combines narcissistic traits with cruel, antisocial behaviors and a lack of remorse. These narcissists can often be very abusive in relationships. 

What Causes Narcissism?

The causes of narcissistic personalities are complex, involving both genetics and upbringing. Some narcissistic traits are learned or reinforced through life experiences and early upbringing, while others have a biological predisposition. 

Parenting 

Overvaluation: Excessive praise for minor achievements or unrealistic feedback can contribute to grandiose narcissism. 

Emotionally Distant: Individuals may develop traits of vulnerable narcissism if they receive little emotional validation from parents, often seeking out admiration or approval from others they didn’t receive from caregivers.   

Inconsistency: Alternating between excessive praise and criticism can disrupt self-identity formation and self-image, potentially leading to narcissistic defense traits [2]. 

Trauma or Abuse 

Research suggests NPD may be an adaptation to neglectful or abusive parenting:

• Neglectful parenting: Kids may over rely on themselves if their parents fail to meet their physical or emotional needs. Lack of emotional connection can also reduce empathy development in children. 

• Abuse: Individuals who have suffered from physical, sexual, or emotional abuse or ongoing parental criticism may compensate with NPD traits to mask the distress of humiliating or abusive interactions [2].  

Genetics 

According to twin studies, narcissistic traits such as need for admiration and inflated sense of self have a 23% to 35% heritability rate. Brain scans also show differences in regions that control empathy [3]. 

Culture and Upbringing 

Research shows that Western, individualized societies such as the US, which value independence and self-achievement, may have higher rates of narcissism. Compared to collective societies such as those in Asia, which value group harmony and interdependence [4].  

How Common Is NPD? 

According to the Journal of Clinical Psychology, NPD affects around 0.5% to 6.2% of the population. It typically appears in early adulthood with other mental health challenges, such as mood disorders or substance abuse. Below are a few key insights on the demographics of narcissists in the US [5]: 

• Gender: NPD affects 7.7% of men and 4.8% of women. 

• Age: Younger adults have higher rates, although this may be due to increased access to diagnostic testing.

• Marital Status: Studies found that those separated or divorced tend to have higher NPD rates than married individuals.  

• Occupation: NPD is more common in certain occupations, such as military personnel, CEOs, and surgeons. 

Actual Narcissism Traits: How to Spot Them 

Narcissism (NPD) is a mental health condition with distinct patterns in personality. It often impairs daily functioning and relationships. Narcissistic traits, on the other hand, such as arrogance, vanity, selfishness, or lack of empathy, are exhibited by many people. 

Remember, not everyone who exhibits these traits is a “narcissist”, but may struggle with other mental health challenges or personality disorders. Some common traits of narcissism include: 

• Sense of entitlement: “I deserve special treatment.”
• Taking advantage of others for personal gain, “If I can’t win, nobody can.” 
• Grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents) 
• Arrogant behavior or attitude (e.g., looking down on others) 
• Constant need for praise and admiration 
• Lack of empathy
• Fantasize over success, power, beauty
• Hypersensitive to criticism
• Often envy others or believe others envy them 

Subtypes of narcissism can present with their own signs. For example, those with covert narcissism may appear shy or often play the victim, while malignant narcissists can mimic sociopathy.  

Are Narcissists Bad People? 

Narcissism gets a lot of media attention nowadays, and narcissists are often portrayed as cruel, selfish, and abusive. It is true that people with NPD often exhibit harmful behavior, however, they are not inherently “bad people”. 

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is a serious mental health condition, and without intervention, many people with NPD may manipulate, exploit, or disregard the feelings of others. Keep in mind that NPD exists on a spectrum, and many people with narcissism do not intend to cause harm. 

These traits are often a way to cope with low self-esteem, insecurity, and emotional pain. People with NPD often struggle with rejection to sensitivity and unconsciously “ruin” their relationships as a protective mechanism. 

Treatment Options for NPD 

Treatment is complex and therapy is often required long-term (several months to years), but it can be managed. One of the driving factors of whether narcissism treatment is effective is if the narcissist is receptive and willing to change. Common approaches for treating NPD include: 

• Transference-Focused Therapy (TFP): Centered on the patient-client relationship, where the patient “projects” feelings onto therapists to reveal distorted thoughts and self-image. Addressing “splitting” (seeing things in good or bad, black or white), common in individuals with NPD, the therapist helps the narcissist balance these polarized views [6]. 

• Psychodynamic Therapy: Focus on early life experiences and childhood trauma to understand unconscious patterns of behavior. Provides patients with insight into their intentions and actions. 

• Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT): Focuses on helping individuals with NPD increase empathy, for themselves and others. Encourages and challenges the patient to develop different perspectives [7]. 

• Group therapy: Group sessions provide settings to practice active listening, healthy communication, empathy, and receive feedback. 

NPD Treatment at AnchorPoint in Arizona 

At AnchorPoint, we are committed to providing compassionate care that addresses the physical, mental, and spiritual needs of our clients. Through a blend of evidence-based therapies, social supports, case management, integrated wellness, and Christ-centered services, we help individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder foster self-awareness, strengthen empathy, and heal their relationships. 

We understand the complex nature of NPD and that healing can be a lifelong journey. Our dedicated team of faith-based clinicians, therapists, and support staff is committed to helping you grow emotionally and setting goals for long-term recovery. 

Contact our admissions team to begin your healing journey today. 

Sources 

[1] Schwartz, B. 2024. 14 Types of Narcissism & What to Know About Them. ChooseTherapy.com 

[2] Brummelman, E. 2015. Origins of narcissism in children. Journal of Psychological and Cognitive Sciences. 

[3] Song, H. (2014). A behavioral genetic study of intrapersonal and interpersonal dimensions of narcissism. PloS one, 9(4), e93403.

[4] Roepke, S. et al. (2018). Does a narcissism epidemic exist in modern Western societies? Comparing narcissism and self-esteem in East and West Germany. PloS one, 13(1), e0188287.

[5] Grant, B. et al. (2008). Prevalence, correlates, disability, and comorbidity of DSM-IV narcissistic personality disorder: results from the wave two national epidemiologic survey on alcohol and related conditions. The Journal of Clinical Psychiatry, 69(7), 1033–1045.

[6] Keefe, J. et al. (2021). Transference-Focused Psychotherapy for Pathological Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder (TFP-N). Psychodynamic psychiatry, 49(2), 244–272.

[7] Bateman A, Fonagy P (2016). Mentalization-based treatment for personality disorders: A practical guide. Oxford, UK: Oxford University Press.